The situation I was in:

I was a Project Implementation Supervisor leading a team of twenty software engineers.
There was no much time to serve our client as we had only one and a half months to the
deadline. I had to announce the idea of increasing the working hours by working on
Saturdays, but I was confronted by some of the team mates who greatly opposed the idea.

My external behavior during the confrontation
I stood with courage and tried to use a convincing language to make them understand the
situation we were in at that time. I had to convince the why we had to complete the project on
time. I was defensive and explained to them the loss we would incur if the service were not
delivered in time. My tone expressed agitation especially after Maria, one of my team mates,
confronted me openly.

Reflective Diary –Part 1

My internal behavior
I felt disappointed and baffled. The situation was out of control, and I thought that I should
leave the members and seek employment in a different company. I felt that I did not use the
right channel to deliver the message. It made me felt bitter with the unexpected reaction from
the members.

My external behavior after the situation
After the situation, I realized that I needed to be calm if I was to make a sound decision. I was
anxious to meet my team members and show them that I was honest and the issue was
serious. I reported to my manager on how the members reacted, and we had to plan on how to
convince them precisely.

My reflection when I look back at the situation
My actions, tendencies, and intentions:
When things did not work at first, I was frustrated since it was not my expectation. My voice
became quite demanding, and it was hard to control my hard feelings. I tried to focus on
solving the issue, but I did not manage. I intended to make them understand the situation and
accept the request from my manager, but it failed.

My default routines:
When things turned tough for me, I chose to be calm and give the opposing members the
chance to speak out their ideas. I knew the opposition had something different to raise
concerning the issue. However, their take was a frustration, and I was left puzzled. My
attempt to convince them failed and again I had to be lucid.

Reflective Diary –Part 1

My impacts:
The speed of implementation reduced significantly. My relationship with the team members
weakened though I didn't display it. I kept a distance from the other colleagues; I felt that I
was not a part of the group and I blocked the conversations. I was so frustrated with the
teams' reaction against the new idea that would help us achieve our goals in time.

Challenges and comfort levels
The situation was too hot for me. Leading a team that is against my idea was very hard to me.
It affected my leadership capability, and I was nervous to continue leading the meeting. I
liked the character of my manager who always showed concern on the issue despite the
opposition from the team.

Analysis of my reflection
I tried to display my strength and competence by standing firmly with my point which I
observed to be my greatest strength though it was not easy for me. Using my knowledge, I
tried to avoid more discussion and failed to give an ear to different perspectives and opinions
that were being raised by the members of the opposition. Through this I lowered my
competence ability, my behavior displayed that I was under the control of my emotions,
frustration, and anger. I knew that my character was not to my level of competence and
intelligence. However, I was unable to calm down and control my emotions and anger at that
real-time. My voice was harsh, unfriendly and the conflict with the participants increased
more. The temperature at that time was getting hot and hotter for me, and my character and
voice betrayed my ability to hide my nervousness.

Reflective Diary –Part 1

Application of literature in my default routine.
From my research knowledge and experience as a leader, you must face such challenges.
Every group usually have a stage of conflict where the members have various in differences
before they come to settle on a joint agreement. According to William (Bill) Halsey, Jr
(Forbes, n, d). "There are no extraordinary men/women… just extraordinary circumstances
that ordinary men/women are forced to deal with." All men/women are the same but how
they deal with the challenges makes them different. The character of confidence and
consistency supported my leadership and competence. AS the team leader, Although the
situation was terrible for me I managed to stand firm. As a good team leader, one must have
the ability to control the emotions and the anger. The attitude that one has on a challenge is
essential as it set the pace for solving it. Also understanding your behavior, tone, body
language is very critical, and it is referred to as emotional intelligence. Awareness of how
you are delivering your message and the impact it has on others is also important. They are
four attributes of emotional intelligence: self-management Self-awareness, relationship
management, and social awareness (Brent Gleeson n,d).

What to improve on
Emotion independence and emotional intelligence were a challenge to me, and this made my
relationship with the members to weaken. The ability to understand the impacts of anger and
emotions on my decision is essential. From the conflict challenge, it requires me to improve
my emotional intelligence which is a useful tool for enhancing active leadership roles. I need
to cultivate on the attributes of the emotional intelligence so that I can avoid anger and
conflict. Another part that I need to work on is the ability to calm down my emotions to make
an emotional free decision.

Reflective Diary –Part 1

My mini experiment
Relationship with my members is very critical toward attainment of the project
implementation goal. I would revive the team spirit that was there earlier.
On the issue of Maria, I would approach her on a personal level and convince her on the
importance of reliability to our clients.
I would also look for a group of members who called persuasive group and convince them so
that they can go and influence others to adopt the change.
Another strategy that I would apply is to come up with a reward system of motivating the
member toward completion of the implementation process on time.
I would maintain calmness and composure in every situation relating the group.
In the beginning, the conflict had altered my internal behavior to the point that it was hard for
me to control my emotions and anger but I regained my inner calmness and control through
interrupting my default routines.

As a leader, the most important character to display is the reflection trait. Sometimes things
may fail to go right at the first time, but the ability to reflect and improve from experience is
an essential leadership tool. Through reflection, I have cultivated on the emotional
intelligence which will boost my competence.